Men in Therapy: Become Your Own Emotional Superhero

You might have heard it on the grapevine.  Men’s mental health is having its’ moment in the sun.  Never has society embraced men taking responsibility for their mental and emotional wellbeing as there is today.  There are particular days dedicated to it.  There are specialised men’s groups created to encourage it.  No longer do men have to hide in the shadows and ignore their feelings for the point of saving face, all because they have been told to “Be a man”, or “Grow a pair” and to “Suck it up”.

From a sociological standpoint, traditional masculine identities have always been associated with strength, stoicism, and confidence.  Showing emotions was seen as a weakness that defied the traditional male identity.  Any kind of trauma and its ensuing emotional impact was largely ignored.  This is enforced – often unconsciously – by the media that men are exposed to.  Take Superheroes for instance, the ultimate pin-up example of what defined masculinity.  They are shown as powerful and strong, saving helpless civilians from evil villians, (and somehow managing to get the girl in the end!).  Men might see their strength and the ensuing adoration and think, “This is what a man should be”.  What we don’t see is Superman talking to a counsellor about his anxiety from the pressures of saving the universe.  Or witnessing Batman discussing the trauma and grief over losing his parents as a small child.   So now that it’s become more acceptable for men to ask for help and seek therapeutic support, it’s time to understand that prioritising their mental health is one of the most important things that men can do.

 So gentleman, where do you start?  Perhaps you’re experiencing a relationship breakdown, or grief over a recent loss.  You might be having workplace issues and are questioning your self-worth.  Why would you pay someone to listen to your problems?  I’ll break it down.  Therapy can:

-              Improve your emotional awareness by recognising and understanding your feelings. 

-              Improve your communication skills by learning how to express your thoughts and emotions more effectively.

-              Improve your relationships with others.

-              Learn stress management and coping skills to cope with life’s challenges.

-              Learn conflict resolutions skills.

-              Increase your self-esteem and self-acceptance.

-              Become confident in your identity and achieve personal growth.

-              Promote a healthy view of masculinity that includes vulnerability.

-              Set and achieve goals.

You might be thinking, “Will anyone find out what I talk about in therapy?”.

Fear not, dear men.  What we talk about in sessions will never be shared with anyone. Your family, friends or boss will never hear about how you’re feeling (unless you’re planning to become an evil villain and take over the city, and then we might have to let someone know!).  Although you might be surprised if you share how therapy has helped you; it might encourage your mates to do the same. 

 So gentlemen, the next time you find yourself feeling overwhelmed by your thoughts and emotions, remember that seeking therapy is not just a transformative experience; it’s downright brave.  Your brain will thank you, your relationships will flourish, and who knows?  You might even become your own emotional Superhero – cape not included.